


Among The Stars

by feverpitchfiasco



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, M/M, Nothing Hurts, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Schmoop, no true pain though, well it sorta gets angsty in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverpitchfiasco/pseuds/feverpitchfiasco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones spills the truth during a fight, and it ends in all the best ways</p>
            </blockquote>





	Among The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first McKirk fic! I have a few more in the works, though. Be gentle with me if it sucks ;)
> 
> I suck at naming things.

Jim didn’t mean to hurt Bones so deeply, to hit such an exposed nerve. Jim had the personality of a sun. A brilliant, shining ball of chemical reactions and a light so bright it hurt to look at directly. Bones felt like the complete opposite. He felt like the empty void of space surrounding Kirk’s sun. He tried not to let it bother him when Kirk would flirt with anything that moved. A star that shone as brightly as he did couldn’t help but let its light fall on everything around it. Bones tried to avoid any ill feelings. He really did. 

But sometimes, to see that light shine on others instead of him? Oh, it cut him to the quick. Made the bile in his gut seethe and churn. They had orbited around each other for years now, caught in each other’s gravity fields. Some days he wished for a collision. He’d never tell Jim, of course. He knew it was just a throwback to his spectacular failure of a marriage. But it was still there. The scars not quite healed. Leonard McCoy was still an injured man. Swaying back and forth between an open wound and a barely held together scab. 

It all came down to poor timing. For Bones, it was very firmly an open wound kind of day. For Jim, it was an adrenaline high from a barely successful mission that had him bouncing around that bar and grinning at people. 

Bones sat at the bar and nursed his fifth whisky. He always hated shore leave after a difficult mission. Everyone always expected him to have exciting plans. Plans always came with unexpected complications, so he usually did away with them altogether. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Jim leaned one arm on a table, gesturing wildly with the other as he regaled a small group with some story or another. His face was completely lit up with that stupid beautiful grin of his. But it wasn’t until the kid winked at the girl right in front of him that Bones’ patience snapped. He knocked back the rest of his drink, stood up as straight as he could, and stalked to the door. Pausing long enough to turn back towards Jim, he took a deep breath. 

“Kirk! Oh, CAPTAIN! I’m out, kid. Not that you give a damn.” His upper lip curled in a sneer, he whirled back around, ignoring the wave of dizziness it caused and whipped out into the cool night air. He stomped up the street, trying to bleed as much anger into his walk as he could. His feet would hate him after a few blocks of it, but hopefully he’d calm down before that happened..

“Bones! Hey, wait up! BONES!” Jim was jogging to catch up with him. Bones rolled his eyes, huffing out a sigh and keeping his pace. Jim broke out into a full on run and caught up to him in a few seconds.

“What was that all about, man? Why are you leaving so early?” He tried to reach out and take Bones’ arm, but it was jerked out of his grip. 

“Don’t even bother, Jim. You know damn well why I’m leaving. You should head back, though. I bet those ladies sure are missing you by now, kid.” Bones narrowed his eyes, poison and anger coming off him in waves. 

“So that’s what this is all about. Look, Bones, I’m just in a good mood! A lot almost went wrong on that last mission. A LOT. But it didn’t. No one got hurt. We forged a new alliance. The ship didn’t explode. So yeah. I’m in a good mood, and I’m celebrating. It’s called being friendly.” Kirk spit the last couple words, crossing his arms and leaning back. 

“And fool me for hoping, for thinking that you’d want to celebrate WITH ME! But no! Instead, I get my ass dragged out to some dive and abandoned at the bar so that you can go flirt with everyone else!” Bones’ arms jerked around him, punctuating his frustration. 

“Fuck, Bones! We’re not together! I can flirt with whoever I damn well please!” Jim threw his hands in the air, taking a step back. 

“You’re right. We’re NOT together. So why did you even bring me?” 

“Because I thought you’d have fun too! Don’t you trust me to have your back?” 

“I trust you with my life, kid. But don’t for one second think that I’m fool enough to trust you with my heart. Not if this is how you’re gonna treat it. So yeah. We’re not together. And right now, I DON’T trust you to have my back.” Bones poked a finger at Jim’s chest as his voice rose.

“I guess that’s all I’m good for then, huh? Making mistakes and sleeping with anything that’ll have me. FINE. I’ll just go back to that! That’s me! George Kirk’s son! He’ll sleep with anything!” Jim started to stomp back towards the bar, tugging at his jacket and throwing his shoulders back. 

“Go right ahead, Jim! You’re as bad as my ex! Why do I always fall in love with the people who are the most willing to hurt me?” Bones turned around with a growl, not noticing that Jim had stopped walking. “McCoy to Enterprise! One to beam up.” 

\-----

Bones went directly to his room as soon as he was back on ship. There was a bottle of whisky calling his name, and he wasn’t about to ignore it. He punched in the access code for his door, grabbed the bottle on his way through the kitchen, and flopped onto the couch with a sigh. Unscrewing the lid with one hand, he brought it to his lips and took a big swig before pulling a PADD towards him. It’d get him in trouble tonight, but he wasn’t in the mood to care. He was still technically on leave, so getting smashed wouldn’t be much of a problem until the next morning. Pulling up a folder of old family pictures, he took another swig. Pictures of Joanna as a baby, him and Jocelyn smiling at her, or all of them smiling at the camera. There it was. One of his favorite pictures of Joanna. He’d taken the picture just as she’d launched herself off of a swing, and her face was utter happiness and freedom. He reverently ran a finger across the picture when his door opened with a hiss. 

“Bones, what the fuck was that all about?” Jim came up behind the couch, looking at the screen. He settled a heavy hand on Bones’ shoulder. “Oh. Man, c’mon. Don’t do this to yourself. I know it’s your favorite punishment and all, but stop it.” He leaned over the back of the couch and pulled the PADD away gently before shutting it down and setting it on the kitchen table. He went back to the couch and sat down next to Bones, taking the bottle from him and taking a swig himself before capping it and putting it on the ground. 

“Leave me alone, Jim. I’m not in the mood for any bullshit.” Bones spared him a quick look before pushing himself up off the couch and standing by the door. Jim sat still.

“I’m not leaving until we both explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain! I had a bad day and we had a fight. Now you get to go on home and I’ll see you later.” Bones reached over and opened the door as Jim stood up. 

“You said you’d fallen in love with me and that I willingly hurt you. I need to explain to you that I would never willingly do anything to hurt you. Whatever I’m doing that’s hurting you, it’s not my intention. You gotta believe me, man. And you can’t just tell me you’re in love with me and leave it at that.” Jim spread his hands out before him, pleading. Bones almost had to look away from those big blue eyes. They were too wide, too innocent, too truthful. 

“I’m not mooning over you constantly like your little groupies, but I haven’t exactly kept my feelings a secret. You’re a smart kid, Jim, you’ve figured that out. I know that nothing’s gonna happen between us, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less to see you throw yourself at everyone besides me. But that’s my problem to deal with, not yours. And now that I’ve thoroughly fucked everything up, it’s high time you left.” Bones squeezed his eyes for a second before walking back to his bedroom. Jim could find his way out. He pulled off his shirt and pants, leaving himself in a pair of boxers and a white undershirt as he made his way to the bathroom. He heard the hiss of his door closing, his mouth tightening into a straight line. As he stood under the sterile white light of the bathroom, he stared into the mirror. The same old face stared back. Perpetual bags under his eyes from too many long shifts and too much stress. The McCoy family crow’s feet had already started to crinkle the corner of his eyes. He grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing, only to replay the evening’s conversation in his head. He brushed harder, flinging small flecks of the minty lather at the mirror. After spitting and rinsing, he wiped the mirror clean and turned back to his bedroom. He startled hard enough to hear his back pop.

“I have never seen anyone brush their teeth as angrily as you just did.” Jim was sat on the edge of the bed, his hands splayed out behind him as he leaned back.

“Jesus, Jim. Go home. And get off my bed.” Bones growled and leaned into the doorway, crossing his arms. 

“What makes you think I’m not home?” Jim tilted his head and gave him a knowing smile. 

“Because you’re on MY bed in MY room.” Bones, undeterred, stomped to the other side of the bed and climbed in, crossing his arms over the covers and glaring at the ceiling.

“Yes. On MY ship. The whole shebang is my home. But I was thinking more along the lines of ‘home is where the heart is’. You’re not the only one in love with their best friend, you know.” Jim was acting nonchalant, but Bones could see his hands shake as he turned to face him, folding his legs beneath him.

“Don’t say that. I appreciate the sentiment, but we both know you don’t mean it, kid.” Bones finally broke his gaze off the ceiling and turned to look at Jim. 

“I do mean it.”

“Since when?” 

“I may throw up on you.” The corners of Jim’s mouth twitched, a grin trying to break through. 

“Not in my bed, you’re not! Bathroom’s over there. If you wouldn’t drink so much, you wouldn’t throw up, you know.” Bones propped himself up on his elbows and nodded his head at the doorway. 

“No, Bones!” Jim threw his head back and laughed. “Those were the first words you ever said to me. On that shuttle out of Riverside, remember? ‘I had a seat! In the bathroom with no windows! I suffer from aviophobia. That’s the fear of dying in something that flies.’ And then you sat down and leaned over and said ‘I may throw up on you’ in that little southern drawl of yours. Pretty sure that’s when I started to fall in love with you.”

“Oh. You mean right after my divorce. When I was a drunken, anxious mess. Total heartthrob. I can see why you couldn’t resist. I remember saying all I had left was my… Wait. Is that why you call me Bones?” He rolled his eyes and looked away, only to have Jim flop over onto his legs, using one of his knees as a pillow. Bones could tell by the pressure and movement that Jim was grinning.

“You were interesting and I like knowing interesting people. It worked out great though, didn’t it? I mean, look at us. We’re actually in bed together. Betcha never thought that’d happen.” Jim pulled his legs in, curling up and flashing the biggest grin he could muster as he felt Bones relax a little. 

“I’m in bed. You’re being a nuisance. I’m serious, though. Don’t tell me you’re in love with me too unless you really mean it. And I know you don’t, because you spend all of your time flirting and sleeping with every planet we come across. That’s not love, Jim. That’s what I had with my ex-wife. That’s why I got a divorce. Like I said though, I appreciate the sentiment.” Bones shifted his legs under Jim’s weight and looked him straight in the eye as he spoke.

“Shit, Bones. You never told me why you got… Fuck, now I know why you’re always so grumpy when we go out together. The only reason I ever flirt with so many people is because. Well. I guess it’s just my personality, to some degree. When I’m excited and happy, I just can’t contain it. I need to share that with others. So yeah, I’ll get animated when I tell a story, and I’ll flirt. But it’s not because I want them in my bed. It just.. It makes people feel good to be flirted with, and I feel good when I make people happy. So if waggling an eyebrow and leaning in a bit when I tell them how awesome my crew is makes them happy, then I’ll do that. And if they happen to end up in my bed, then whatever. That’s cool too. But.. I also focus on so many other people because I’d rather be focusing on you. I just thought you weren’t into me, and I didn’t want to push things and ruin our friendship. But knowing what I know now, knowing that you’re just as into me as I’m into you? I’ll take this risk if it means not having to live with the ‘what if’.”

Jim shifted his legs, pulling himself up the bed and meeting Bones face to face. The doctor’s eyes widened and he stopped breathing as Jim leaned in and closed the gap to a hair’s breadth. 

“If you don’t want me to kiss you, Bones, stop me right now. If you really don’t believe that I love you, that you’re my best friend and I love you, then stop me now and I’ll go back to my own quarters.” He held them there, on the edge of so much more, waiting for Bones to reach his decision. He felt Bones stiffen, wound so tight before a hand curled behind his neck and finally, finally their lips touched. Bones had pulled him into a crushing kiss, born from years of waiting and thinking that this was never an option. Jim had gone from off-limits to offering himself on a silver platter in the course of an evening. If this was all he’d ever get, he was going to take full advantage. 

Bones ran his hand down over Jim’s shoulder, holding onto a bicep with an almost cruel grip. Jim pushed forward, easing Bones onto his back and half lying on top of him. He was shoved back off, though, and held his breath. Unsure if he’d made a mistake, misjudged. But Bones was kicking at the covers, scrambling out from under them and Jim was all over him, filling his senses. He had swung a leg over his hips, straddling him, leaning forward and recapturing his lips in a claiming kiss. 

“Damnit, Bones. Never thought you’d want me. Never thought you’d want some kid from the sticks who almost gets you killed all the time. Had to distract myself. With others. But they were never you. Never who I really wanted.” Jim’s words, feverish and quiet, sunk into Bones and wrapped themselves around him. A second skin for him to wear. 

“Always wanted you, kid. Always. You’re the only one who could ever get me out into the black. I’m only here because of you.” Bones pulled Jim down flush on top of him. Pressed together from chest to thighs, they slowed and stilled.

“I can’t promise that I’ll never hurt you. I can’t promise that you won’t get hurt, Bones. But I do promise to never do anything to purposefully hurt you. Who knows where this will go, or what we could have? Maybe next week we’ll decide it isn’t working. Maybe we’ll grow old together and be grumpy at our grandkids together. But for as long as you’re in my life, I will never go out of my way to hurt you.” Jim nipped carefully, delicately at the side of Bones’ neck, whispering the words into his ear. Bones shuddered and ran his hands reverently down towards Jim’s hips, pulling him down against his growing need. 

“Damnit, Jim…” He groaned under Jim’s ministrations, tilting his head to give more access and rolling his hips upward. Jim dropped his forehead to Bones’ shoulder, grinding and pushing his own hips down. 

“I need… I need…” Jim rolled onto one elbow, just enough room for his free hand to splay across Bones’ belly. 

“I can’t give it to you if you don’t tell me what it is, darlin.” Bones kissed and nipped at the side of Jim’s neck, eliciting a moan and curse. 

“Fuck, Bones. You. I need you. I don’t care how, I just… Fuck.” Jim squirmed, pushing himself against Bones as tightly as he could, over eager and lost. Bones flipped him onto his back, an arm on either side of his head. 

“We’re gonna get nowhere fast if I leave this up to you. Let me.” Bones sat up on Jim’s hips, straddling him as he pulled his shirt over his head. He chuckled as Jim gasped and immediately ran his hands over the newly exposed skin. “If I’d have known you were this into me, I’d have been more straightforward a long time ago.” 

“If I’d have known you were hiding this body under those baggy clothes of yours, I’d have dragged you back into the bathroom on that shuttle.” Jim grinned, sunshine and brilliance. He scooted up and pulled his own shirt off quickly, scrambling and getting stuck in the neck hole while Bones laughed.

“Kid, if you’d have tried anything on that shuttle, I really WOULD have thrown up on you.” He helped tugged Jim free, quieting the megawatt grin with another kiss. Bones pressed against him, pushing his shoulders back onto the mattress. His hips rolled and pushed against Jim’s. Slow, steady, maddening pressure and pleasure. Just like Bones. Intense and careful and Jim needed more. Bucking back up against him, they both moaned at the contact. 

“Way too many clothes here, Bones. C’mon. I need more skin.” Jim pleaded as Bones smirked, rocking back onto his heels before standing up off the bed. He quickly shed his boxers, pulling at Jim so that he could tug his pants and boxers off as well. Jim sat on the edge of the bed, reaching up to wrap his arms around Bones’ neck and hauling him into a kiss. 

He wrapped an arm around Jim’s waist and hauled him further onto the bed, straddling his hips again. He chuckled when Jim stiffened and shuddered as their erections brushed. “A little eager, are we? God, Jimmy. Been wanting this forever. Wanting to feel you, just like this.”  
Propping himself up on his elbow, Jim pulled his lower lip through his teeth and reached out to stroke Bones’ hip. “I don’t want this to stop. If we keep going ahead, it’ll happen and we’ll be happy. I don’t want either of us to think ourselves out of it.” 

“There’s gonna be things to figure out, Jim. Where we want this to go, how long we want it to go on for. Those are important things to know. As far as I’m concerned, I want you. All of you. Not just in my bed once in awhile. I fell in love with you and followed you to the stars. Maybe I’m playing all my cards early and this is scaring you off right now, but I want the long haul. My first marriage may not have ended well, but I’m built for long term relationships. It’s where I feel best. But if all you want is a good fuck now and then, I’m.. I’m good with that too. I want you any way I can get you.” Bones sat back on his heels, absently running his hand over Jim’s abs and relishing the way the muscles twitched and slid under his touch. 

“Fuck. I’ll be honest with you; I’ve never really done the whole long-term thing before. It was never what I wanted. Being with you, though. I want that with you. Only with you. I sure as shit want you in my bed, too. But I want to get off shift and come back to my room and see you tapping away on a PADD, or find your dirty mug in my sink, or come here and steal your booze because you always have the good stuff. I want to come home to you. And those are some scary things for me to want.” The vulnerability in those wide blue eyes put an ache in the center of Bones’ chest. He smiled, though. A soft, one sided smile full of fondness and adoration. 

“Always good to have a doctor around when you’re scared.” He leaned over to his bedside table and rifled through a drawer. Pulling back with a bottle of lube, he slicked his hand before reaching for both of their straining erections. It took some maneuvering and interesting finger placement, but he managed to get them both in his large grip. He set a slow, easy rhythm, watching the way Jim gasped softly and let his head fall back. Bones’ gaze traveled over Jim’s body, taking in the flush of his pale skin and the way his abs contracted everytime he moaned. 

“Fuck, Bones. You’re gonna kill me, man.” Jim had flopped fully onto his back, looking at his doctor with a slightly self-conscious grin. 

“Shush. Just let me take care of you. I’ve gotcha.” He leaned forward, wiping his hand on the covers quickly before sliding both hands up Jim’s arms. The press of their bodies created just enough friction to spark pleasure up both their spines. “I’ll always show you the way, Jimmy. Don’t be scared of this. Don’t be scared of us and what we could have. We’ll be so great together. We’re up in the stars, kid. And you hung them there. As far as I’m concerned, each and every one burns so fucking brightly because you exist.” Bones tugged an earlobe between his teeth, whispered dizzying things. Jim dragged his nails across Bones’ back, writhing helplessly at the attack on his senses. 

“No pressure, huh?” Jim croaked out between moans, sliding his hips against Bones’ and digging his heels into the mattress.

“I’m serious. Look at the state I was in on that shuttle. Look at me now. It’s all you, kid. It’s always been you.” Bones pushed down hard, still nipping and sucking at Jim’s neck and throat. “C’mon, keep moving. I’m so close. It’s been awhile, and fuck I’ve waited for you so long.” With that, Jim hooked a leg around slender hips and flipped them over. Bones gave a shocked squeak, which he’d tease him mercilessly for later, before smirking up at him. Jim rutted against him in earnest, drinking in the pleasurable gasps and sighs falling from Bones’ lips. 

“Gonna make you come, Bones. Gonna make you feel so good. C’mon, give it up to me. Let go. Just like that, baby.” Jim praised him, gripping his hips tightly as Bones tightened and arched his back. Digging his heels into the bed and pushing his hips up into the air, continuing to rock his hips. Jim reached between them, trying to take them both in hand. Bones spilled between them with a low guttural moan as soon as Jim’s fingers wrapped around him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh god, I’m.. I’m… Fuck..” Bones sputtered and groaned, his orgasm ripping through his whole body. A few strokes later, and Jim joined him over the edge, his head tossed back and the cords on his neck standing out. They collapsed back onto the bed, breathing heavily and grinning at each other. 

“So?” Jim ran a hand over Bones’ chest, pulling him close and trying not to cringe at the mess he inadvertently squished between them. Bones did cringe, giving him a scowl with no real heat behind it.

“So… So I think we need a shower. And I think I take back what I said earlier. You have definitely got my back, kid.”


End file.
